Better warn you right now, it is here a matter of nothing.
Just an geometrical inconsistency.
The story of a dumb, round planet revolving aimlessly
around a dumb, round sun burning aimlessly
who doesn't know why it burns like this.
The strory of a round belly, purposefully sheltering a round and sticky thing.
Who becomes something not sticky.
Who looks at other round things.
Round such as freedom.
Sophie's rounds.
Round like Samatha's round ones.
Round like those carrying round glasses.
Round.
This is also the story of a curve going straight, and turns into a rigid angle.
The story of a square, who clears the round with a ruler.
The story of a squared moral.
Of a squared education.
Sqaure as the bad canteen from school, high school, university.
Square like a freezing "I don't love you".
Square like those carrying square glasses.
Let's go.
Square like boring games.
Square like office jobs.
Square like your father's cancer.
Square
But here comes the contradictory aspect of our story.
On the few certainty we can rely on
there is one the scepticals will never call into question.
A square will never fit into a round.
Never.
And vice versa.
Good morning everybody.
Good morning.
Have you stop cortizone ?
I stopped, it makes me swell.
Well it prevents you to sleep the whole day.
But rest assured sweety, you're already fat.
It's like if you were wearing tennis socks into boots.
Nobody will notice.
Fine.
What's your planning for today ?
Playing Candy Crush the whole day on the sofa.
But I won't play Candy Crush the whole day in the sofa.
I have an appointement with HR this afternoon...
- Today ? - ... at 3 pm.
We've been waiting this appointment for so long. Why didn't you tell me ?
- I forgot. - But how ?
I didn't thought about it.
I didn't want to think about it.
Ok kids, let's go.
Have a good day son.
I wanna die.
That's normal. It is because of your acne. But you will be over it after lunch.
I hate you.
That's normal too.
All good ?
Let's go !
It doesn't matter, that's how it is.
Maybe it was just too early.
What do you think ?
Damn...
Hey murmaid, you can come back into the pool.
Ok.
One, two, Grace, elegance
Five, six, seven, eight!
I'm ready.
Looking for swimmer to complete our male synchronised swimming team. BEGINNERS ACCEPTED
The teacher said I wasn't talking at all but then I did some salto
it was very good but then the teacher said that...
So we have no league or federation. Nothing at all.
We could but we should write a letter
and then send it but we don't know where.
But we never discussed it because we don't care.
The timetable depends on school time and water-polo training.
Monday, it's 6:30 pm.
Thrusday at 7 pm.
But you can show up at 7:10 pm. Absolutely no problem.
We are here for good time, after all.
We are not in the army.
It's all about...
about...
So I am Thierry but you can call me Titi.
Thierry is fine already, no ?
I don't know why I said that. Nobody calls me Titi.
Titi would sounds like Tweety & Sylvester
That's true.
Anyway, I am glad you answer the ad.
It is like being part of a family.
It's not a real family but very similar.
So welcome.
Hey guys !
Guys ! This is Bertrand.
- Hi Bertrand. - Hi guys.
Delphine, this is Bertrand. He replied to the ad.
So what brings you here ?
I'm don't know actually.
What do you mean? Do you know what we do here ?
Yes. Male synchronised swimming.
And what is it like male synchronised swimming ?
I guess the same than female but with men.
And still does interest you ?
Not much.
So let me ask again: what are you doing here ? Oh guys, training now !
I prefer warn you now: this isn't for everybody.
Lots are called but few chosen.
Those guys here, they are not here by chance.
They wanted it.
To be part of this team Bertrand, you must combine willpower
gracefulness, rythm and an healthy lifestyle.
Can you deal with it ?
Can you swim at least ? - Yes, not too bad. I mean...
... I don't know.
You know nothing.
Not anymore.
Then all good, you are in the team.
So move on ! Go to the lockers and get a swimming trunk, swimming cap, nose clip, googles
and see you in 5 mins in the pool, ok ?
Such a warming welcome. - Oh, stop it. Run !
(Delphine reads poetry)
Knock it off ! That enough !
You piss me off ! All of you piss me off !
Goddammit.
I'm not spending 40 min in my car to see that !
I want to practice !
Look at yourselves. Nothing makes sense !
I need discipline !
I'm fed up !
Voilà. Let's get back to it.
They made me do tests, like I was going into space.
Cholesterol level, thingy level and others.
It lasted 2 days.
Finally they told me that my health is in good condition ...
... but I'm too old to get the loan.
I'm 38 and I'm too old. How ridiculous.
Now I can't stop thinking about it.
I look at myself in the mirror and...
... I find wrinkles, I'm short of breath.
I'm 38 now.
Just because I wanted to buy an apartment.
I don't know if you are owners but ...
... I'm telling you, keep renting.
There will be less meta-physique questions.
Thank you.
Good morning Director. - Good morning.
You are a kind of an early bird. What are you doing ?
I am eating an apple turnover.
Say Nicolas, the shop opens at 10 am.
Not 10:30.
Yes, we open at 10:30. - No.
- Yes. - No. - Yes - NO.
Yes, 10:30 ! It's written on the door.
No. It's written at 10 in the premises. 10:30 ready to sell.
You arrive at 10:30 then you go for a coffee, check your emails.
We end up at 11:30. 11:30 !
In between, maybe some customers wondered "Can we buy a swimming-pool here ?"
Those swimming-pools are gone !
They are gone and it's a shortfall for me.
Yes but even on the afternoon things are still quite.
Ok but...
... I am still allowed to express myself as a boss.
Would you have some weed ?
Here we go. Next.
How are you darling ?
What do you want ? - Lentils.
I saved you something.
Remember I pick you up tomorrow.
You do know I usually pay my debts.
No, that was before. I promise I did send the cheque 4 days ago.
Do you may a second ? I ask.
Joachim ? Can you look if Madame Arisot's cheque, this very nice lady, was sent ?
You were right. The cheque wasn't sent 4 days ago but 1 week ago.
We must have a serious issue with the Post Office.
Your are open this morning, right ? So I will just...
Jerk.
- It's me. - For two hours she's been waiting
- Yeah sorry but I had a... - She is coming.
- Otherwise, all good ? - Very well.
- Penchil. - Don't prevent yourself, say it straight away.
Pencil.
Good.
Good morning.
Goo.. Goo...
Your son has serious issues. He is hindered.
You should communicated more together.
He needs to participate, to be stimulated.
- Maybe some theaters could help. - Sorry, are you a shrink?
No you're not.
So we will stop here. I don't pay you for parenting lessons.
So please just focus on your job. Ok ?
Numero 76.
63.
Tell me, how do you feel champ' ? - Great.
- They are all het up. - Not so sure about that.
You are next just after the Bingo. 5-6 min max.
I will make this signal.
Tell me, doesn't he has some nerve issues ?
All my swimming-pools are accredited NHDCA.
Of course, it doesn't ring a bell to you.
And yet, this certificat ensure ...
... watertightness and sustainability nonstandard.
They are made out of Californian Kevlar.
The same Kevlar NASA used to make men walk on the moon.
Sounds great but can you tell me how this water got here ?
That's obviously an humidity issue.
How was the party ? Lots of people ?
I wish I could have come.
Here is 40 for you.
Did the blue spot dazzled you too much ?
Yes, I couldn't see much.
I will put it behind. Like you are walking out of a spaceship.
But purple then. - Of course purple.
Are you serious ?
Are you ok ?
You are late. - I'm ok.
Yes I get it !
It's the third time we ask you to move away.
We've played nice so far but it's time to leave.
It's not a public camping but a public parking.
Ok we leave. - Right now !
So they woke you up.
I will go now, dad.
Already ? What about breakfast ? - I'm not hungry.
Weren't we supposed to spend the day together and I would drive you home tonight ?
As you want but....
You didn't say. How was I last night ?
Stretching.
What's stretching ? No look, you are completely stiff.
You are so afraid to look dumb that you end up like one.
Listen the music. That's the most important.
You need a music in yourself to make the world dance.
Stretching.
Mermaid, yes !
Let's go find our inner girl.
There is no girl in me.
There is, idiot.
It won't make you loose your things. You might even gain some more.
I know there is none.
Extend. Stretch out. Dancers.
We search for grace. It's far but we go find it.
We have a performance soon. We must be at our top so let's go !
Sorry but you can't participate. You haven't the level.
So he tells me it won't be difficult to climb.
But I see it will be difficult.
So I say, be aware cause I'm no... alpinist
I just do it for fun as an amateur.
And to accompany. Because it pleases my aunty since he is my father in law.
So he says, no worries.
He insisted.
But I didn't follow. I stayed down there.
And then ? That's it ?
That really wasn't interesting.
You say that because of Thierry ?
I thought we agreed to not judge.
No judging. That was the rule.
Otherwise I'm off.
He is right. Otherwise we can't talk anymore.
Sorry but he always says weird stuff.
No thanks. I am taking antidepressant.
I am having a breakdown.
A big one.
I don't know wheew to start.
It's been two years I don't work and...
Good evening guys !
Crap !
Can I take a puff ?
Oh no, it would be too bad. - Oh please.
Are you holding up ? Isn't it too hard ?
What about you ?
Why do you say that ?
Because I know you. - Well I'm fine.
Claire, do we have some Cognac ?
Just here.
I'm telling you. We go haywire in this country.
I work with them every day. They don't respect anything.
You're very quiet, Bertrand. You're fine ?
I'm fine.
Better.
Claire told me you have started sport.
Good thing, great.
What kind of sport ?
I signed up in a team of synchronised swimming.
Remind me what it is ?
Like in the 50s' movie ...
... water choreography, right ? - Yes, that's right.
Isn't it usually for ... ?
For women ? - I'm sorry.
But in this case it's for men.
Why not. Even some women play football.
As I already offered, you can come work at my shop anytime.
Thanks, that's nice.
It's ok, no big deal.
10 days were not enough for such a long trip.
And the kids ?
They loved it. We didn't see them.
They made their life and ...
... it was refreshing for us.
Sounds great.
We needed that. - I'm happy for you.
When is the last time you had holidays ?
I'm not sure. Well you know since Bertrand ...
2 years maybe ?
About yes.
It's a lot 2 years, don't you think ?
Ok 6 months, 1 year.. but 2 years?
Yes but I'm fine with it.
Wait, I don't judge Bertrand. I like him.
I'm just worried for you.
I see.
My sweet little sister.
Bye !
Remind me to never invite them again. - 15 years I'm doing it.
It's horrible. I am horrible.
It's not normal to have these toughts.
What is it ? - I have an atrocious image in my mind.
A comet ?
How do you know ?
I had the same vision.
I saw a glimmer in the sky, like a star, colorfull.
Alive, coming towards us.
I was blind, scared and BAM !
Straight on your sister's car. Explosion, screams, flames !
All dead.
Horrific.
I'm cold. Let's go to bed.
Kind of embarrassing this comet story. - You started it.
I had simpler thoughts like they run out of gas.
So this is your idea of an atrocious image.
Yes. Why my love ? - I don't know. I love you.
Time's up guys.
Unfortunately it's not my fault.
Or I will have your wrist slapped by the town hall again.
9 pm isn't 9:30.
So if you want to stay longer
ask for a dispensation.
Or you just leave...
That's nonsense !
Thanks all of you for coming here
for our round of sixteen inter regional of water-polo.
But before, we will have a first part.
They are a bit nervous, this is their first time live.
I will ask you to welcome to a thunderous applause
our first team of male synchronised swimming.
Yes, masculine !
Please give them a warm welcome !
Is that your team ? - Yes.
It's splendid.
Bravo !
Please give them loud applause.
This is a hard discipline.
And now make way for sport and water-polo !
with this round of sixteen
That was a good job.
Congrats !
Congrats ! That was...
Look at them. It's like they won something.
They're having fun, they look happy.
"Look" happy.
"Look". That's not the same thing.
I may have found more depressive than I am.
... a crazy public representation today. People went wild.
They worked very well, I'm so proud of them.
I just wanted to tell you. Kisses.
Guys ? I will leave now or he will go crazy.
Ok.
Bye and congrats again.
I will go as well. Want a ride home ?
Definitely.
I made 17 albums.
More or less self-produced.
Really ?
Not a single hit ! None.
But I don't care.
All that matter is expressing myself.
Priority is not to sell disks.
I see. You prefer stay free.
Yes. Look at me !
Look how free I am !
Here we are. Right here.
Nice house !
From memory, I never asked you anything.
You still own me 3.000 euro.
Besides money. Can we elevate the debate ?
I'm talking for a friend.
This guy has nothing in his life.
Swimming-pool, home. Home, swimming-pool.
Listen, he needs to get laid.
I'm not sure he has ever done it.
Sure, I did.
I've done it.
I made love.
Leave this to me, please.
You fuck me, right ?
So do him. Same thing !
No, it ain't the same.
Let it go, Marcus. I don't think she wants it.
No, she doesn't.
No need to insist then.
Of course you must, idiot !
What is it ? Did I upset you?
Guys, let's go.
Pay up. I forgot my wallet.
You often forget it.
I'll pay you back tomorrow.
Listen carefully.
You won't get laid being a tightwad.
And women detest tightwads.
Bad point for you but I got your back.
No, my friend's buying.
Can't you feel how good it is for your back ?
You see, if you practice sport on high level like me,
I must do it 2-3 times a week.
I guess.
But can't you put your underwear on. It's akward.
Really ?
Mr Marcus ?
What ?
Sorry to bother you but we really need to talk.
And what about ? Can't you see I am busy here ?
Pool Love.
Duty calls. I'm the boss, the CEO.
If you wanna have fun, you can change the color.
We can't continue like this. - About what ?
I already told you. Nothing has been fixed.
We owe for 150.000 euros to our suppliers.
No cash flow to cover the loans.
I'll get by.
I'm not sure you understand.
If nothing changes, we will close by the end of the year.
The end of the year but...
Sure about your math ? - Sure.
Can you call her a taxi please ?
Hello.
My name is Delphine. I am an alcoholic.
I haven't drink for 5 years.
It started when I was 26.
I was doing artistic swimming in duet.
It was international level with lots of competition.
We won some with my partern.
It really was the best years of my life
A wonderful period.
And then...
there was a big accident.
And she was forced to stop swimming, with me.
To complitely stop swimming.
Likewise for me.
Because I made my whole carrer with her
and it wasn't feeling right anymore.
I think I should've been there for her.
But I was blaming her that we stopped.
Nowadays, I blame myself.
But at this time, competition was really missing me.
She...
I was missing her a lot.
I was broken.
I couldn't see..
Well I was surviving until the first..
...the first Gin Tonic.
I never drunk before.
It was my first time.
I let you guess what happened next.
I was falling.
I tried to suicide.
What saved me
was, on the one hand
my team of male synchronized swimmers.
I must admit that they are very promising.
And what really hauled me out of shit
It might sound lame,
We can hear that in low quality music,
Was love.
Saying it now, I could slap myself, but it's true.
He saved my live.
It's me.
Lola isn't here. She left.
But we are supposed to go to the restaurant for her birthday.
She is at the mall with friends.
She is only 14. Don't take it personally.
Hi Serge. This is Bertrand. He just started with us.
You can give him some tips.
You won't start here cause you need to be more chatty.
Guys, break is over.
Here we have the high quality products.
And here, just the coffee room. Staff come here for coffee and stuff.
What do we have here ?
Your uniform.
We already have a great sales called Bertrand.
I can't just.. See ?
Anyway, welcome. See you in convertibles for a briefing.
Convertibles ?
Sofa.
This is a furniture shop.
It's gotta go faster up there.
See you.
Have you though about it ? - I'm not quite sure but I yes.
What about ?
Foreign language option. - So ?
I think I will go for spanish.
Spanish. You think or you're sure ?
I think so.
Spanish is useless.
That useless ? - Useless, yes.
Why choose Spanish ?
This is our origins.
Yours and grandma.
Who told you that ?
Did you talk about her ?
Why talk about my mother ?
Dad, please.
Are you so stupid ?
Why do you bring that shit ? - Stop it, dammit ! Stop.
If you want, I'll make crepes tonight.
Everything is ok here.
Here as well.
Look. See how it works ?
Yes.
Are you sure ? - Yes.
Imgaine if the pump doesn't start itself.
An alert pops up. What do you do ?
I take the mouse and I tap on...
- "I click".
But I could say "tap" if I prefer, no ? - I guess.
It's interesting the word click.
Where does it comes from, click ?
Thierry, it's getting late.
Yes.
So PH level is represented here.
Everything starts automaticaly at midnight.
I see.
What do I do then ?
Nothing. The system does everything.
So what am I used for ?
You put away the floats.
Where are you ?
Where are you !?
Cats are so dumb.
Marcus ?
Nobody ever taught you to knock?
Mr Marcus, I'm still waiting for my salary. 4 months are too long now.
Really ? But how much is it ? - 5.600 euro.
5.600 euro ! Gracious.
Where is my check book ?
Nicolas, look at that sign we're very proud of.
I just want my check. - What does it say ?
"Just my check, just my check" is nonesense. - Pool Love.
Pool sold with love ! With heart !
And in a world where people withdraw into themself,
Men's fear men... - I just want my check !
...build a better world.. Just my check.
No more memories. No more smiles. No...
I have work to do.
Tell me when it's ready.
I will do your check ! Yes I will. And very soon !
But instead of PoolLove, go work at PoolCash ! I'll write your check.
Then do it. - I'm looking for my pen.
And I will add 100euro so you can shut up !
Anyway it will bounce.
You will tell that to the court.
The court ?
The court will be delighted to hear you deal drugs at work.
What ?
Where is the car ?
I don't know. Wherever you left it.
But I didn't drive it.
This is serious, Nicolas.
Whatever you did with the van, you can tell me. Shoot.
I didn't drive it.
Damm...
I'm cursed.
Why to me ?
What have I... ?
No matter.
Let's not panic here.
Go straight to the police and I take care of the insurance.
Which insurance ? We didn't pay for 6 months.
You said it was useless.
What did I say ?
You said it was useless to pay them.
Lola !
Happy birthday, sweetie.
I picked the right one. Not like last year. Remember ?
You don't open it ? - Later.
Come on, open it. - No, later.
But why .. - Later !
I will open it at home, ok ?
Hi. - Hi.
I wanted to say that.. - No.
Go ahead please. Just start. No problems.
Are you sure ? - Yes.
It's not easy.
I feel that..
... anything I try is a failure.
I would have loved to be a guy,
like we see on TV.
those guys who just snap their fingers and it works right away.
An entrepreneur.
Kind of like Michael Douglas. In Wall Street, you see ?
I guess being held back in 5th grade wasn't a good sign.
But people say: believe in your dreams, they'll come true.
But it's wrong.
I'm in deep shit.
I'm close from going bankrupt. It's the fourth time.
One year I'm here and nobody knows, nobody gives a damn about my pools.
What lunatic would build a pool in the middle of nowhere?
Me.
You're nice, Thierry.
Like my ex-wife used to say,
Marcus, it's not only your pool that are cracked.
Sorry...
Are you ok ?
What is it ?
You see I'm trying, right ?
Yes, I see.
The more I try, the more I fail.
At everything.
I'm like an alive device, without any purpose or gift.
There is something I don't understand.
This stupid synchronized swimming thing.
It was supposed to help you, wasn't it ?
It's still the idea.
However, you don't only pity yourself but also the others now.
Isn't it too much ?
I...
I don't get it. It doesn't make sense.
Makes sense compare to what ?
Why everything we do should makes sense ?
Organize dinners, does it make sense ?
Talking over the phone with your sister for hours
But still have no real conversation, does it make sense ?
And yet, you like to organize dinners or talk your sister.
Well, we love to look like idiots all together at the pool.
It doesn't make sense, just for pleasure.
Apparently, looking like idiots should make sense nowadays.
We would be the only one.
Your team is lucky.
You are giving so much for people you don't know.
That's exactly because I don't know them that I give so much.
Are you that disappointed ? - We all are. Everything is disappointing.
Even when we are happy, we are disappointed.
We spend our live to be disappointed.
It must help us to accept what death is about.
Did you take your medicine ?
No, I don't have any left. - Ok, I get it.
My love, I will have dinner with the kids.
You stay with your best freind, Mr Stairs.
But if you decide to cut your wrists because of the pool thing,
Please, go to our fascist neightboor's garden.
Better traumatize their kids than ours.
Fuck a duck!
Japan, Germany, New Zealand...
Evry countries ! - Well it's world championship.
Italy, England, Portugal.
Portugal, we can beat them.
How come ?
Portugal, come on!
When is it ? - Next April.
Does it give us enough time ? - Enough time ?
To practice.
Seriously? Check out the competition.
- So? - Yeah!
It's in Norway. It'll cost a fortune.
We're just thinking out loud.
I say no out loud.
You say no out loud?
Just like that.
How about you tell us why?
We can't even manage the warm-up act at a crappy regional championship.
Oh ! Wake up !
World championship !
It's pure fantasy.
Fantasy, reality. You get the difference?
If you were so right, you'd lose that condescending asshole air.
If you were so right, you wouldn't be telling a bunch of losers that they're losers.
Two things you're cruelly lacking are sympathy and enthusiasm.
And a smile. 3 things!
So be a good guy and leave the losers alone.
Fine.
You're team spokesman now, are you?
Just like you did, so far.
That's all bullshit. Look at him.
He's a washout whose life is a mess.
Sorry, I forgot.
He's depressed.
Depression... It's an excuse and you know it.
You're a flake, beating yourself up about flunking on your dreams.
You have a monopoly on depression?
It's got us all. All of us!
It's been a year I know them. That we talk and practice together.
Yes, I scream. Yes, I am unhappy.
But I don't lie to them or myself.
I know that I am a loser and I get along with it.
Why go lose my last shred of dignity 'cause an angry jerk decrees it?
This asshole doesn't need a medal to solve his problems.
I think we could all use a medal.
He's right.
Let's vote on it. Who's in favor?
Ok, it's agreed!
Let's register.
So what should I write ?
Team France.
- TF for short. - Sounds like WTF. That sucks.
- Sucks ass! - Grow up please.
Men's Synchronized Swimming Team of France.
That makes M.S.S.F.T. - No, M.S.S.T.F.
Stop! Just put Team France.
Why not The Human Dolphins? - Just write down Team France.
Knock it off, Thierry.
- Caps. - There, E!
Were you a cop before, Thierry ?
We are the Team France!
- Look at you! - That's us!
Why are you like this ?
What makes you block everything?
Why such a pain in the ass?
I'm not.
Hey, stop being a pain in the ass ! Come have a drink.
We're gonna practice your entry in the water.
Honestly you dive like potatoes.
- I disagree... - I said like potatoes.
I want you to scythe through air and water.
You scythe through neither.
You need to scream and leap, leap and scream.
It must be a primal scream, so listen up.
In turn, without thinking, launch yourselves and yell a word.
Dive or jump ? Dive or jump ? - I said dive, didn't I ?
This is ridiculous. - No, you are the ridiculous one.
Don't think, do it.
Let's go!
Ridiculous !
Mortgage !
Prozac !
Smokieblankieflash!
He didn't get the idea.
No, I didn't get it.
5, 6, 7, 8...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 !
Guys, it's crap! You're so not in sync.
You're kidding me.
You're floppy, floppier than anything I ever saw!
Let's go again.
Bravo, guys. Great job!
Practice over. Give yourselves a big hand. That was extraordinary!
We are about here.
No, we're up here !
Everyone, let's go. - We are...
AT. THE. TOP.
I'm seeing aquatic artists! The real deal!
I know them when I see them! In all modesty, big up!
That was something else.
Locker room.
Champions!
My champs' !
Delphine reads poetry.
What are you doing? - The robot dance.
That's not right. - It is.
Stop it, it's terrible.
Ok, great. That was amazing.
Most people can't tell man from machine.
I introduced the robot dance into France, back in '82.
Delphine ! Delphine ! Come over here, will you?
Come
I wanna talk, dammit!
You realize what you're doing?
Don't touch me! Butt out!
Don't come by, don't call me. Leave me alone!
I don't love you, I never loved you.
Two years since we broke up. Jesus!
I have a wife and baby. How do I get it into your head?
Stupid bitch, you're wrecking my life!
Beat it!
I reported her to the cops, ok?
It's full of fungi. - Bullshit! It's super chlorinated.
Let's go.
Easy. Go over the...
The choreography.
Go.
Let's go, I said !
You dumb idiot!
Hold on, let me...
Did I ask for anything?
- I'm lending a hand. - Scratch your ass with it. In line!
You really think you're gonna win like this?
We just wanna take part.
Excuse me?
We just wanna take part.
- Take part ? Sonofabitch! - You're nuts!
I'm what ?
Nothing!
Fun's over! We're going for a run.
I don't have my running gear.
Doesn't matter.
Let's go!
Move it!
Keep going ! Run ! Eyes front !
Move that fat ass !
Stand up !
I can't understand you. Shut up and run !
Come and explain the respiratory system.
The respiratory system
works...
I know it.
Sit down !
F...
From the top! C...
It's not the Sri Lankan alphabet!
16 ! 17 !
C'mon, assholes!
We just wanna take part?
I'll show how to take part !
We're here for victory !
Air enters the buccal cavity. The mouth.
Fine particles go through the trachea. Yep !
Either the left or right lung, air goes...
You know nothing !
Back to your seat!
I told you to learn it!
It's theory but very important.
No stopping, no walking.
I will teach you what effort means !
Delphine.
They said you are off sick at your work.
Some mail came for you at the pool.
Your friend is coaching us now.
She says we suck but there's no reason for the others to be any better.
We've really improved. You should see.
However, she doesn't read poetry.
She is mean.
Marcus says that she's a huge bitch.
But I believe that,
maybe she's a little...
shy.
I don't know if you're there or not, but I hope you're good.
She'll be happy to see you. She gets few visitors.
Except your sister for birthdays.
That is your sister? Plump, quite pretty.
My step sister.
She's hot, right ?
I don't know...
This way.
She's under that tree.
I should warn you, don't expect...
You know.
She's a person... - She is my mother.
I leave you. - Thanks.
Hello, mom.
My son. You came to see me.
That makes me happy.
Me too I'm happy.
Sorry I didn't came more often.
Of course, you have your life.
How's Diane ?
And the kid.
They're good.
They send their love.
Weather's good.
You're not too warm in that coat?
There's always a nice breeze under the trees. It's pleasant.
You still have...
your hideous face, though.
It surprising how ugly you are.
Your dumb father wasn't pretty but you're definitely something.
Ungraceful.
You selfish piece of shit.
Look at you, little vermin.
That rotten, shapeless face of yours.
Alright, mom.
Alright, mom! That's all you can say.
Should have I stab my gut rather than endure your ugliness.
That's right, beat it!
You're ugly!
You're gruesome!
Listen up, fatties !
There's a question maybe needs asking.
Which music on you choregraphy?
We need something dynamic and lively.
Really ? I though heavy and sluggish.
No, that's terrible. People will...
Please, stop talking to me.
So ?
No please, no salsa. No way.
My Rocking Heart?
Something with oomph. - Opera would be stunning.
Melissa My Babe From Ibiza!
Rap ! We need rap.
A track we relate to, that tells our story.
He's right. From our heyday. A song like us.
We're old. - No we're not.
We are, but we have to own it, find music that's a fit.
The Chick in Nylons?
You like power pop.
Love it ! - Stop now.
Stop that, no rhythm.
He had a swim team.
Your brain's a sewer. - It's impressive.
We can find some great arm movements.
I like that. Or Led Zep or U2. - Radiohead ?
Radi what ? - Radiohead
Just a second.
- See you, Jean-Luc. - Bye.
Wait.
Serge can't work Thursday night.
You replace him.
Thursday I have practice.
And what ?
Feet in the middle.
Don't forget to breathe.
Point those toes!
Feet in the middle!
What the hell Avanish ?
Go back, feet in the middle.
It's shit !
It's shit! It's pointless!
Who's the base?
What's a base ?
Are you joking ?
You're going to the Worlds without knowing what's a base?
The base is the one who holds his breath!
Who can hold his breath ?
Me ! - Me !
47 seconds. Useless!
I coach little girls who do two minutes!
And you ?
Without base: no lifts, no star, no show, no Worlds!
So for now on,
you all stop breathing!
47 seconds.
47 seconds !
Of course it sucks.
What ?
No I don't lie.
You, 47. Me, 1.10.
Those details makes the difference.
The same uniform, same trunks, blacks !
We're a team, we look good.
Nowadays, image is crucial, Laurent. Crucial!
I don't give a damn about image. People obsess about it.
Totally agree with you. 100% with you.
But what can we do ? it's our modern-day reality.
Well done, Titi !
I'd love to screw the system but image is everything.
I did three lengths!
Three !
After the second, I had nothing left. I started to come up.
But I wanted to continue. Do you know what I did ?
I thought of my step-father.
He was a weird man.
Some nights, he came into my room, put me in a headlock like that
and burned my eyelashes with his cigarillos.
But only when my mom worked nights.
Whenever I heard him come upstairs,
I hid in the laundry basket
and held my breath so I wouldn't make noise.
On my third length just now,
I remembered the basket, and I did it !
It's all in the mind.
My ear's clogged up.
You can't deny that style is important.
Fine. How much it cost to be stylish ?
All inclusive?
289 euros.
The whole ?
No, per person.
Includes the trunks, robe...
Are you serious ? They barely can pay rents.
Which is why I have a plan B.
Plan Foxy.
Wanna hear it ? - No.
I'll tell you anyway. Listen.
Are you shitting me ?
I was kidding, Laurent !
Those are maki.
I said sushis. I hate makis.
What ever, give it.
Yeah, what?
What do you think ?
Imagine it with bass and drums.
Great.
Really.
You have a shit face. - It's not new.
What's wrong ?
Not really.
Actually, I'm fed up.
I'm bored to death.
Stop bullshitting.
What about your wife ? All the kids ?
Kids. It's been long time they're gone. You idiot..
That's not the issue.
It's just that, I don't know...
Back in the days, we were on the road with my wife, having sex under LSD and stuff.
Now on Sundays, I cut the grass.
I'm fed up, so bored.
Go, play !
Do your thing, the aquatic stuff.
How much ?
259 euros.
That's expensive. It can't be.
How about we stay mismatched?
I knew you would say that.
That's why I have a plan B.
Plan Foxy. - Why Foxy ?
Because it's sly.
True. Foxes are sly.
Wanna hear it?
My plan has got every detail down.
Just pile the gear in a cart like a regular customer.
Use pliers from Home Improvement to cut the emergency exit chain.
The door opens onto the parking lot.
The getaway car waits there,
ready to burn rubber.
We are used to thiefs but come on ! Bathing suits!
How old are you ?!
53 - 38
41 and a half.
We aren't proud. Just a moment of madness.
You pay up or we call the cops?
Please, not the police. I would lose my job.
Easy, easy. We'll pay up, of course.
Thierry... - What?
You got a checkbook?
Maybe...
- Pay. - Certainly not.
Call the police.
No !
I'll pay but you must reimbursed me.
Or I'll be banned from holding an account because of your stupidity.
My stupitidy ?
Thierry, I swear we will pay you back.
Swear ? - I swear.
You too, swear it.
Yes.
Swear that you'll pay me back !
I swear it, ok ? - Swear on what ?
I swear on my honour, alright ?
How much is it? - 1,258 euros.
Oh, not bad.`
Mismatched would have been great.
How did you found out ?
Security camera.
We didn't think about it.
You didn't.
Let's go !
Cool it, we paid.
We paid.
Chill.
I'm not kidding, pay me back fast.
I'm sick of being your fool.
I never make fun of you, Thierry.
Not you, him! - Me ?
Yes. I tell him about my love life and he makes a fool of me.
Get to know people before judging them.
I'm like an iceberg.
I only let people see the tip.
The bit underwater...
The submerged part.
Exactly.
That bit has made love to countless women.
Many.
Countless means what exactly?
Keep your nose out!
We're your friends. Tell us how many.
One ?
Two ?
Three ?
There you go.
Three ? - Yes !
I'm nobody's fool now!
One thing's for sure, we have style.
Don't worry.
What Marcus breaks, Marcus fixes.
- Leave your wife to me. - That may not be a good idea.
She has very black eyes.
A woman of character. Aries, right?
My sister's Aries.
No, it's not...
See you tomorrow, Bertrand.
Hi, Claire.
- How's it going? - Good.
And with your mother?
Badly, but it always has with her,
so let's say we're fine.
Thanks for all you do for her.
You're welcome. It's my job.
You do it well.
It wasn't always the case.
I wanted to race motorcycles.
Trouble is, I'm no competitor.
Stress management close to zero.
- Who are the anxiolytics for? - Mrs. Chamblain.
- She already had hers. - Sure?
I was hired for six months and here I am.
I thought I wouldn't stick it out 3 days.
How come?
The smell.
It's a terrible thing to say, and I shouldn't, but it's the truth.
Old folks stink.
They stink horribly.
You arrive, it's clean, they're showered, all good.
But when they wake up,
it's like a zoo here.
Carnage.
Morning, sir.
I developed a technique to do a whole room...
Sheets, bedpan, basic ablutions...
while holding my breath.
A whole room?
Yes.
Without a breath?
Yes.
- How long? - 3 minutes 52.
Is that good?
Yeah, not bad.
No, it's decent.
It's great!
No, it's decent.
I'm gonna play you a track.
It's a bit intimidating in front of you all.
Feel free to say what you think, even if you don't like it.
It needs mixing and arranging. It's a rough draft.`
But try to imagine what it'll be like when I finish it.
There we go.
- Go for it. - Yeah, here goes.
I'm so nervous.
You ok?
You're asking me that?
Sure, why?
Just surprised that you're interested.
Thank you for the present.
You're welcome, sweetie.
I didn't mess up?
No, it's exactly what I wanted. Except for the color.
So it's not exactly what you wanted.
Which color did you want?
Blue's good but red's really good too.
So we have a problem.
Blue's blue. It's not red.
Forget that and this sponge is your fate.
Don't you have class?
I thought it'd be a great surprise for them.
I expected to get an ovation but nobody even clapped.
They said nothing.
Pathetic.
I wasn't there to hear it but...
Maybe they were right not to clap.
I have talent. I have serious talent.
Lots of people will tell you.
At the conservatory, I was the next big star.
I had something. That extra something.
Maybe I didn't make the right choices.
That's not what I'm saying, dad.
Maybe they were right not to clap.
Maybe they were wrong too.
So lots of people are wrong?
Lots doesn't make it right.
Dad, sorry to break it to you but...
I mean it's not...
You're not David Bowie.
You never were and never will be.
I'm sad you don't see glory isn't around the corner.
You understand?
Maybe so, but I hold onto my dreams.
Holding onto your dreams is important.
That's your dream?
Your concerts?
Your RV?
Autographs for people who don't know you?
That's your dream?
Remember dancing on my shoulders?
Sure. Why bring that up now?
No reason.
Because it was fun.
It was when I was little.
Way back when.
Seriously, we're doing good.
Don't you think?
We're doing good, sure.
Your drama class? Enjoying it?
Totally.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 !
C'mon, keep going!
Energy, guys!
I hate her.
I detest her.
It'll be alright, buddy. We can do this.
Are you alright ?
No.
I wanna kill her.
It's too fast ! - Sorry ?
It's too fast !!
Shut your big mouth!
Ok ?
Open it when you're not shit anymore! What are you doing?
I'm ashamed! Look at you!
I'm sick of coaching worthless pieces of shit!
You're useless! Why do I bother?
I don't believe this!
Laurent, back in the water!
You're shit! Useless pieces of shit!
It's the last time! I bust my ass for you for weeks!
For nothing!
You're crazy ?
Oh, shit.
You think I do it for me?
I'm doing it for you.
I know.
I'm sorry, it was on impulse.
There is a goddamn deadline, don't you know ?
We know.
If I were you guys, I'd do so fucking much!
You're ok ? - Yes, I am.
I apologize again, I'm really sorry.
It's already forgotten.
- You had to let it out. - Yes, sorry.
Now rest up.
Miss Ironside will dial it down now.
Two hours, you tubby bastards !
Two hours in the sauna !
Motherfuckers!
The whore locked us in!
Amanda!
It was an accident!
Shut it!
Let's lay a trap for her.
We'll dig a hole and lure her into it.
He's right. Who's in?
- Want some? - No, thanks.
It tastes great.
How did it go?
Great.
Today at the pool, Marcus tried to unscrew Amanda's wheels.
It's going to end badly. It won't work.
Are you keeping up back there?
Go, go go !
Go, Go !
Run! Pull your fingers out of your asses!
I'm dead.
This girl is possessed. It can't be true.
She is talking bad to us, I'm losing my motivation.
We gain more by smilling, right ?
That stupid bitch will kill me
Easy.
She's handicap.
Then she is an handicapped stupid bitch.
Yes, it can match together.
Imagine the whore had legs !
I have some shit in my sock.
Imagine that it was the same in Vietnam.
Guys were waiting without knowing what they will face.
Maybe a Viet-cong was hidden. Can you imagine ?
Not really.
Actually, I don't care much.
What's the point of smoking if we can't talk then.
7 minutes more!
What the hell?
He can't go on. He can't take any more.
What the .. ? - Just a second.
And they want to go to the Worlds ?
I'm done, enough.
What to do with them ?
You have to talk to them.
- Talk ? - Yes.
About what ?
Just talk.
"All that is necessary is solitude.
"Vast inner solitude.
"If you share nothing with others,
try to be close to things.
"They will not abandon you.
"There are still nights.
"There are still winds moving the trees in many lands.
"Children are still as you were as a child.
"Sad and happy.
"If you think back to childhood,
"you live among the children once more.
"Grown-ups are nothing
"and their dignity corresponds to nothing."
There we are.
Swim sync = Faggots
I'm telling you: Shitty public.
Shit, Simon ! And my stuffs ?
You'll pick it up tomorrow.
Where we going ?
Just follow me.
25 years I do, asshole.
Precisely.
There you are.
Thanks, son. It's wonderfull.
Thanks. Come.
Come here.
Jerk !
I hate you, and your shithole house !
You stink like...
You're ugly !
You're there, I was looking for you.
Good one. Pretty comfortable.
Sure, but you'd need cancer of good taste to buy it.
Your pitch explains why your sales are so low.
Everything here speaks for itself. Maybe that's the problem.
Have you considered a corner with decent furnitures ?
Not necessarily pretty but at least watchable.
Thanks for your advice.
My pleasure. You give me lots.
You need them.
Such as, try standing.
Yes but you know
I look around and there is no customer.
So I stay seated.
Surely it's more annoying to have zero customers
than to know I'm on the couch.
You're a grade-A jerk!
Your wife works to keep you while you're in a pool acting the fairy.
Getting to be world champions of faggots.
Ridiculous. Let me tell you.
I never could take your stupid mug.
Never !
But you weren't so cocky then.
It's true. We don't like each other.
But it's not our fault. Get it?
You and I, we'd have never choose each other.
We met by accident.
I can't blame you.
So I'll never insult you the way you just insult me.
At the same time, you are one hell of a douchebag.
Why couldn't I tell you?
One hell of a douchebag married to one hell of a shitbag.
You're right, it's good to say it.
Indeed.
Wait, I'm not done.
I'd lose your kids in a forest. I just wanted to add that.
- Outside? - Yup.
When will you see him for the jerk he is?
A jerk !
Wake up Claire !
- You called him a douchebag? - I certainly did.
But it's our family, Bertrand.
Yes, a family of douchebag.
I'm ashamed.
What ?
By speaking my mind at last?
Because I'm breathing a bit again ?
Every one's making fun of me cause I swim ?
You don't swim, you sink. Admit it.
So subtle. "You don't swim, you sink!"
And you got your ass kicked.
I was on top at the start.
Well...
The buds are out. A cold snap and they're ruined.
Well...
I'm going.
Don't you wish me luck ?
Say something, Claire.
You prefer talk to that bitch who called the cops to our daughter's birthday.
Did I hear him insult me or am I wrong?
No, he didn't.
And sued us over an apple tree.
He's here, gotta go.
Hello, Lola.
Surprise.
See both peaks over there ? - Yeah.
According to the guide,
"they represent the breasts of the mammary goddess.
"Norwegian loves snacking.
"They are particularly fond of sausages,
"rolled in pancakes, and sold at newsstands."
So you can by a newspaper without pancakes,
but not a pancake without a newspaper."
Let's start with the basics.
"Hello" is Hei.
"How are you ?" is...
Should I write it down?
" I'm glad to be in your country."
You're a pain with your Norwegian lesson.
- We're not at school now. - That's irrelevant.
It's about making an effort.
If you don't like it, suck it up!
Exactly, so shut up.
Keep going.
If nobody gives a shit...
Not one shit! No surprise your wife bailed 'cause you're boring as rain !
- No, my friend. - That's low!
I didn't say that, no.
Yes, you did!
It slipped out.
Try to get some sleep, Thierry.
I'd like but but I'm way too excited.
So stay awake in silence.
I can't sleep either.
How about a beer?
I'd love a beer.
No!
Sleep! Not a peep out of you!
- Shut up! Tomorrow's the Worlds. - It's no reason to...
Watch out, I'll get up!
She said "I'll get up".
That's funny ?
Yes, it is.
Stop it !
Sorry.
I'm having a kind of crisis.
What crisis ?
Are they all natural?
Cut it out!
- You complete idiot! - Sure, I'm the idiot.
You'll thank me one day.
You've no clue what you did.
Move it, damnit ! We're late!
Quit tossing stuff in here.
How are you?
You're ok ?
I should be asking you. - Well I'm ok then.
You can tell me. - I know, yes.
He's gone ? Yes
Even so ?
After all that happened?
It's not just selfish, it's utterly irresponsible.
Just imagine the rumors about him.
I won't tell cause I wanna protect you, but...
It's not very virile. It's odd.
It puzzles me.
Of course it does.
Some chocolate, kids?
What do you mean ?
I mean you have a gift for organizing birthday parties,
making quiche, choosing napkins...
But you can't picture your husband can't play tennis, say.
If you want the truth,
your husband has a ball, but not on the court.
No, in a dungeon with cuffs, leather thong, and a good whipping.
But I hear his favorite is getting peed on.
I don't tell you, to protect you,
but you have no idea of the rumors.
Thing is, you can't take them, whereas I don't care.
Maybe my guy isn't very virile, but I don't judge him.
He doesn't have to hide and act like
he's someone else.
Because...
I'm proud of him.
Whatever he does, I'm proud. And he's proud...
We both are.
No always but often.
And often never means never, get it?
Let's cut to the chase.
Either your pretty Ralph Lauren home gets a BDSM basement.
Or you can go screw yourself and your supermarket gossip.
That's called giving as good as you get.
Kids, let's go.
- Where are we going? - We're going.
What's wrong?
You're ok?
I'm ok.
Bullshit. What's wrong?
I'm not fine.
I'm stressed out!
I hate being judged, ok?
It's nerves. I'm in bits.
You idiot, only now you tell us?
You junked my pills!
Why did you do that?
Why? I don't know, I thought...
Complete idiot.
Now it's my fault?
Hey, look! Get a grip!
Feeling better ? - Nope.
What ?
Nothing.
it's turning orange ? - No.
Looks natural ? - Oh yes.
Self-tanner.
I thought, can't be pasty white for the Worlds.
Gotta be presentable.
We'll
watch on internet.
Knock it off, Granny! Pain in the butt!
Anyway, I wanted to wish you...
Thanks, son.
Lots of love.
I understand you feeling sick.
The fear of the obstacle, the pressure, of course...
Listening ?
Stop puking, it doesn't help !
What is it ?
He doesn't feel good, won't open the door.
John, open this door now!
You hear me? Open up!
We need you. You're the base. Open up!
I feel terrible.
Come on...
We're screwed without him. Get on it!
Stop, Thierry!
You didn't work the artistic enough.
No ! Look at their bodies. Look at this.
Just wait for their score.
You're trembling?
Yes, I do.
You never do ?
No.
Doesn't mean I'm not scared.
I'm sorry about... - Me too.
Wake up !
We're not here to hide, sonofabitch!
He's bonkers!
Calm the fuck down!
Stop! Both of you!
Ready? Let's go see the boys.
If they screw up the execution, it's all over.
Calm down.
Juries don't like the French. Norway doesn't.
- Stop it, please. - Norway hates France!
Everyone knows that.
They'd better be good.
You should have coached them better in first place.
Here. You feel up to being base? - Sure.
Guys!
You start.
We just wanted to say, we know you're scared.
So are we but here we are. Ok?
We also want to say
we love you.
I'd like to say a word!
Friends.
What we will do tonight
is not only bigger than us.
Tonight, it's not ten of us in that pool, but 69 million.
Tonight we are
France!
The France we love, the France of Voltaire.
The France that goes from Corsica to Puy-de-Dôme via...
Charente-Maritime.
Too long.
I want you to imagine, maybe one day,
our grandchildren will look up and say,
Granddad, did you do all that?
And we'll reply...
Shut up!
Shut up, Marcus. Let's go.
Guys, in formation!
- This is it. - Let's go!
This is Dad's thing?
It's crap.
What the hell's going on? The store's empty.
It's Jean-Luc.
He's up next.
I screw the sound but nailed the lights!
Pull over.
Pull over there.
There's nothing.
Me neither.
Obviously.
Tomorrow. Wait till tomorrow.
For the news to filter through.
Definitely tomorrow.
For sure !
Bye.
Daddy !
Gold medal!
- Beat it, kids. - Where?
Don't care.
Play on the highway, smoke crack in a park car.
Just beat it. Leave us alone.
Scram! - Let's go.
Naturally, for a moment, one fleeting moment,
they dreamed of being national heroes.
Most likely, they will never receive due recognition.
It seems unlikely their story will become a model,
with a single exception.
One thing is now certain,
and the most skeptical will never call it into question...
If the desire is there,
A square can fit into a round.
And vice versa.